Called To Love

I spent the weekend with adoptive moms at the called to love retreat in Silverton, Oregon.
I am forever changed from this weekend. I’m still processing everything….the whole experience was emotionally heavy and rich. Each day I kept thinking wow I am so tired, why? And then I would remember how emotionally drained I was. I listened to dozens of women every day who poured their hearts out with such an honesty and love that I felt an instant connection. Each seminar was full of gold and wisdom that I am so grateful for. The worship team had hand tailored every song for us and their was not a dry eye in the pavilion.

It was amazing to sit next to women who 100% understood every struggle, every longing, and to not have to explain themselves. The parenting tips were golden, the honesty was humbling, and the vulnerability was beautiful.

On the last night of the retreat I was totally tapped out. We had the opportunity to visit with our new friends, and I felt so full…..that I really just needed time alone. So I drove down into town for a glass of wine, just to gather my thoughts.

I sat and ate, and my mind raced with all of the things that I did not want to forget. I replayed every moment that touched my heart:
The 59 year old woman adopted from Korea and her touching story of living alone on the streets from age 4-7, at times near death, and her message of wearing the banner of “adopted” with pride, despite her struggles.
The panel of birth mothers who shared their pain, perspectives, and stories.
The panel of adults who shared their adoption stories and the things they cherished and/or wished has been different about their upbringing.
The experts who shared parenting tools that nurture kids from hard places.
The adoptive mothers who shared their mistakes, their shortcomings, and their lowest moments through tears.
The mother who told me…”this is the year we might floss our teeth!” with such transparency that I wanted to give her a high five.
The passion and faith that wove these women together as sisters, not just adopted moms, was so strong!

I thought about my little boy a lot this weekend. I really want to just hug him, and be alongside him during the hard places he may be experiencing. I’m thankful for all that I learned about his beautiful country this weekend. I hope that we are enough to comfort his broken heart. I’m so grateful for a little insight into feelings and emotions he may carry on our journey together. I just can hardly wait to love on him. But I will wait;)

“Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.” Isaiah 43:5

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